Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat
word for word what you shouldn’t have said.

Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching
them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years
telling them to sit down and shut-up.

Insanity is hereditary. You get it from your kids.

I love to give homemade gifts. Which one of my kids
do you want?

Children are natural mimics who act like their parents,
despite every effort to teach them good manners.

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like
shoveling the drive before it has stopped snowing.

"There is only one pretty child in the world… and every
mother has it." - Chinese Proverb.

Children will soon forget your presents. They will always
remember your presence.
The main purpose of holding children’s parties is to remind
yourself that there are children more awful than your own.

Grandchildren are God’s reward for not killing your kids.

"Who are these kids and why are they calling me Mom?"

You can fool some of the people all of the time and all of
the people some of the time, but you can never fool mom.

A child’s greatest period of growth is the month after
you’ve purchased new school clothes.

Anyone who says "Easy as taking candy from a baby"
has never tried it.

The best inheritance parents can give their children is
a few minutes of their time each day.