Dance Lessons Blog

Have to Vs Get to

 

 

                                                                        HAVE-TO vs GET-TO

 

The choice of words you pick to describe a task or event, colors the way you do it, the success you have with it, and the pleasure you derive from it.

 

 

 

 Think about the mindset that says “I have to make those calls. I have to do my homework. I have to get organized.”  When we “effort hard” by using will power to make changes and to get things done; the more we do, the more resistance we can create.  Likelihood is that doing something with a not-so-great attitude will produce not-the-best outcome. Reframe the task by saying “I get to” and the previous experiences of those great moments of anticipation and excitement shift our outlook, our physical and mental behavior.  When we “have to,” we slump, feel the energy drain, hide. When we “get to,” we straighten up, look forward, make eye contact and allow ourselves to enjoy the task.  Why not pleasure? It’s a choice.

 

 

 

When we characterize something as “hard” or “difficult” we associate the task with an element of discomfort that we hold as an idea from our past. In reality, the thing to be done is simply: the thing to be done. We’ve never done it THIS TIME before. It’s new. If you’ve given the same presentation 1000 times, isn’t this a new audience? This simple perspective creates new experience, fresh task, an adventure. By holding to a past idea of a past experience (or someone else’s experience or negative view!), the old ideas conjured by such words as Hard or Difficult color what we are about to do. It is an attitude and a choice we make. Consider Challenging, Exciting for the same act - and we gravitate with different posture and heightened expectation.

 

 

 

If making contacts for your business (prospecting or lead generating) was always easy and fun, everyone would be doing it.  Many, with the best of intentions, don’t.  With more doors knocked, appointments go up, sales increase, financial stress is reduced and people generally have better health and emotional peace.  This is about improving the quality of life.  This we all know.

 

 

 

If your kids came home from school looking forward to doing their homework, they would inevitably procrastinate less, do better in school, have less pressure and have more free time to do things that interest them.  We and they know this.

 

 

 

If we dealt with the clutter that surrounds us daily and kept our homes, offices and cars neat and orderly, how much high drama could w e eliminat e about losing papers and keys and stressing over loose ends (to say nothing of sleeping better at night and experiencing greater calm)?  We know this too..

 

 

 

If you are getting tired of doing the same old dance, if you do these and other similar tasks, but do them “kicking and screaming,” there is a better way.  Life is too short to stay stuck when there are positive options.  It’s not hard, but it does take paying attention, making a shift and practice.  If it’s worth doing, it’s worth doing well.

 

 AGAIN (Say aloud this time) : The choice of words I pick to describe a task or event, colors the way I do it, the success I have with it, and the pleasure I derive from it.

 

 

 

 Before doing anything that had previously been hard, difficult or uncomfortable, take a breath, lower your shoulders and verbally tell yourself that you will do the activity well, and comfortably.  Know that your thoughts and words, even if contrived, make a definite difference in your outcome and sense of accomplishment.  The breath and shoulder dropping will become a physical anchor, and in a few weeks you will approach your tasks automatically this way and with better focus. 

 

1.       Do the activity with the mindset that when you look back, with the perspective of time, you will take pride in not just doing the activity well, but effortlessly, with class and style.  If you were being watched by your kids, what message would your better attitude teach?  Probably a great life lesson that you can control the way you handle your life.  The feelings of how you did something will last far longer than the result of most actions you perform.

 

2.     Practice seeing yourself in situations you normally find distasteful or difficult and change the script in your head by seeing yourself enjoying whatever the event is.  If you rehearse this positive behavior in your head (especially in a state of relaxation where you experience less mental chatter and resistance) it is inevitable that you will find yourself demonstrating this behavior in your life. Thoughts are things!

 

3.     Until this ease of performance becomes automatic, act “AS IF” it already were.  The more you show yourself what you can do rather than what you can’t, the faster and easier the change of behavior becomes.

 

Little changes (shifts in consciousness) make huge differences (performance.)

 

I look forward to your feedback and success stories.  Please pass this on. 

 

If your office or organization could use a speaker with something positive, interesting and powerfull to contribute, please consider me and get in touch.  Thanks.

 

 

 

 

 

Barry Eisen
http://www.articlesbase.com/self-help-articles/have-to-vs-get-to-751431.html